I have been married for almost two and a half years now, and I love the fact that God brought to me the wife that he did, as I have fond memories of our wedding and our time together even to this day. This summer something interesting happened. Lili and I were able to go on vacation with my parents and return to Myrtle Beach, where we had spent our honeymoon. I thought it was great to return there and be able to see again all the restaurants we ate at, all the mini-golf courses we had played, and walk along the beach that we had walked on two years earlier.

With our arrival, however, I soon learned that things were different. It took Lili and me all week to identify even one mini-golf course at which we had played, we never remembered all the restaurants we had eaten at, and it took me almost an hour of driving to find the condo where we had stayed (and when we identified it, I still wasn’t sure we had found the right place).

What I had not realized is that the farther you get away from something the harder it is to identify it. I thought at the time I would never forget all those things, but two and a half years and hundreds of miles later I could hardly recognize anything. In the same way, though we have had the Bible in our hands for years, knowing what God commands, I am finding that seeing his design for family and society lived out is not only an exception, but might very well seem odd to us. And the reason it would seem odd is because we’ve drifted so far from the way it should look that living out familial and social relationships correctly in our day would look extreme and strange.

Nonetheless, we must return to God’s order in these things. We must live out the correct ordering of the family and society as believers in order to obey and magnify God and display his will throughout the world. Therefore, this morning we look with Paul at what a family relationship of parent and child and a work relationship of employee and employer (or master and slave, as in the text) should look like for believers. For this is more of what it means for us to walk worthy of the calling to which we have been called (4:1).

Therefore, this morning I want to begin with the parent-child relationship, showing the responsibilities of parents and children.

The responsibility of children in God’s order (6:1-3)

Simply put, children are to obey their parents. Paul tells them, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (6:1). He then goes on to command them, “Honor your father and mother … that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (6:2-3).

Why and how are children to obey their parents? Paul gives three details to this:

1) Children obey their parents for it is a command from the Lord.

Probably Paul’s writing of “For this is right” signifies the following command he lists in verse 2. Namely, Paul gives us the fifth commandment, that children are to honor their parents. Therefore, we see that in the new covenant, in the law of Christ, children are to honor and obey their parents; God commands it. Therefore, children, obey your parents first of all because God commands you to obey your parents.

It has nothing to do with how worthy your parents are of obedience or how much you think they don’t deserve it. Obey your parents because God commands it, and God’s commands are not only right but best.

Therefore, Paul moves us to another detail:

2) God’s commandment to honor and obey one’s parents comes with a promise (6:2-3).

In the old covenant, the Jews had been promised that as they honor their parents, their days would be long-lived in the land. In the new covenant this commandment and promise is taken up into the law of Christ, and yet it is not limited geographically. That is to say, children who obey their parents need not live in Canaan for their days to be long-lived and life to go well, but this is true wherever they are.

Therefore, children, God commands you to obey your parents and promises you that it will result in good for you. There is blessing to be found in obedience.

3) Finally, children are to obey their parents “in the Lord” (6:1).

Paul writes, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord” (emphasis added). That is, do it as an outflow of obedience to God. For this is how a child lives a God-centered, God-honoring life. Children should recognize their parents’ authority comes from God, and therefore, respect, honor, and obey them as those placed over them by God.

How does this boil down for children? It does not mean that if your father commands you not to follow Christ that you must obey, for that is sin. But it does mean that anything that is not sin must be obeyed respectfully. Therefore, children, you have no right to say anything but, “Yes, sir” or “Yes, mam” when your father or mother tells you to make your bed. God commands nothing less.

The responsibility of parents in God’s order (6:4)

Parents, these exhortations to children and the exhortation to fathers in verse 4 mean that there is much you must realize and do. I will try to show three things:

1) Recognize your God-given authority.

It is not a home after God’s design where the children dictate what is done. The mere nature of verse 1 commanding children to obey their parents means that you, parents, are the ones in charge.

Therefore, you need to recognize your authority and walk in it. We live in a day when authority is questioned and it is seen as wrong even to think of yourself as an authority over another, however, where authority is not recognized, God’s order will not be followed – especially in the home.

2) Do not provoke your chlidren to anger by abusing your authority (6:4).

There is also an abuse of God-given authority. For Paul writes in verse 4, “Fathers, do not provoke your chldren to anger …”

That is to say, while recognizing your God-given authority, do not use it to be unreasonably harsh toward your children, constantly condemn your children, pester them constantly so as to bring them to frustration, or humiliate them. For just as it is difficult to witness parents who do not recognize their God-given authority it is equally difficult to witness parents handling that authority in an immature manner.

So, what are parents to do?

3) Parents should bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (6:4).

Paul gives this as the antithesis of provoking children to anger at the end of verse 4, writing, “but bring them up in the discipline and insruction of the Lord.”

That is to say, build a worldview for your child to live to the glory of God. Teach them to obey “in the Lord.” Teach them that wisdom begins with fearing the Lord (Proverbs 10:9). Teach them that it is for God’s sake that you act as their authority and it must be for God’s sake that they obey you. When you discipline them, point out how they have violated the Lord’s command and order (instruction) and discipline them, communicating your obedience to God’s commands as well in your discilpine of them. That is, you should instruct as you discipline your child. Do not let a spanking occur without instructing in the Lord. Use it as an opportunity to further train your child’s heart that he or she is to obey out of fear of God (5:21). Train your children, in short, to realize that God has revealed truth and commanded us what is right and best in his Word, and that we therefore obey it. For only such a realization will breed life-long obedience to the Lord and his commands.

For the main goal of parenting is to direct your children to the Lord and his word. Ted Tripp writes in Shepherding A Child’s Heart, “Parenting is not just providing good input. It is not just creating a constructive home atmosphere and positive interaction between a child and his parent. There is another dimension. The child is interacting with the living God. He is either worshiping and serving and growing in understanding of the implications of who God is or he is seeking to make sense of life without a relationship with God.”¹

Parents, therefore, train their child’s heart to live with a Christian world-view, for, as Tripp adds, “Since it is the Godward orientation of your child’s heart that determines his response to life, you may never conclude that his problems are simply a lack of maturity. Selfishness is not outgrown. Rebellion against authoirty is not outgrown. These things are not outgrown because they are not reflective of immaturity but of the idolatry of your child’s heart.”²

Parents, you must bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The responsibility of slaves to masters (or employees to employers) (6:5-8)

Paul’s exhortations in verses 5-9 sound a bit awkward to us, for we are in a society where slavery has been abolished for a century and a half. And seeing that the wrongness promoted behind such action in our country, we rightly celebrate its abolition and therefore probably find trouble relating to Paul’s exhortations here.

However, if we understand that in that society, selling oneself into slavery was often a way in which debts that could not be paid were settled, then we might better find a parallel to our life and culture not in thinking of what we know of slavery but in thinking of what we know of employment. Therefore, in such relationships, Paul lays out for us how Christians must act and live.

In short, Christian employees should obey their employers as if they are obeying Christ himself, for indeed that is what Christ commands. Paul sprinkles these phrases through verses 5-8, writing, “.. as you would Christ … as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart … [and] as to the Lord and not to man.”

Clearly, then his intention is that we obey our employers as if we are directly obeying Christ, and indeed because he commands that very thing, we are. Therefore, employers should labor and obey their employees in the following manner:

1) With a respect for God’s establishment of authority.

Paul writes in verse 5, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ.” The idea of “with fear and trembling” means with a sinere understanding of God’s established authority. Christians above all should be people who have a right understanding of authority because we follow Christ as our absolute, sovereign Lord.

Therefore, our thoughts of our employers should be, “I understand you are an authority and because I know God I understand authority. Therefore, I will obey you with a sincere heart even as I would obey Christ.”

2) Obey your employers not simply when you may gain from men (such as when the boss sees and you can gain his favor) but at all times because you find joy in obeying Christ.

Paul write in verse 6, “Not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.”

Again, these exhortations stem back to 5:21 where we are to submit out of fear of Christ. Therefore, we must obey Christ who tells us to recognize our employer’s authority.

3) Serve and labor joyfully, not begrudgingly.

Again, Paul writes in verse 7, “Rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man.”

We should be able to labor in our jobs joyfully because we realize it is an opportunity to be obedient and pleasing to God. How one works directly speaks how one views God, for it is a direct reflection of our heart’s desire to obey our Lord.

Recognize God’s authority behind all obedience.

4) Finally, understand God’s desire to bless those in the kingdom who are found obedient to him.

Paul writes in verse 8, “Knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is slave or free.”

There is truly no sacrifice in the Christian life, for God had promised the Kingdom to those who are his.

Therefore, Christians, without question, should be the best employees to be found, for they should labor as unto Christ himself.

The responsibility of employers to employees (6:9)

Finally, on the other end, employers are to treat with respect their employees. Paul writes, “Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him” (6:9).

This is Christ’s command to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Therefore, we must respect all men, realizing there is no partiality with God but we all have the same Master. We will all have to give an account to God.

Therefore, this morning may we pray and labor for families and societies that reflect God’s order so that the world and the next generation will not have to wonder what it looks like but see it lived out before them, through us, for the glory of God. May God do his will among us. Amen.

¹Ted Tripp, Shepherding A Child’s Heart (Shepherd’s Press: Wapwallopen, 1995), 22.

²Ibid., 24.

ORDER, AUTHORITY, AND OBEDIENCE IN THE NEW SOCIETY