Last week we looked at the reality of the believer being a new creature and consequently the need to put off the old thoughts and actions that one characterized one’s nature and the need to put on the new thoughts and actions that should characterize a new creation. In doing so, we built up to the question, “What specifically does this look like?”

Paul answers this question in Ephesians 4:25-5:2. Therefore, I want us to hear the answer (though not an exhaustive one) to that question so that we might live lives pleasing to our Lord.

In order to show this, I want to start very generally as to how believers’ lives should be characterized and then move to more specifics as Paul does in the text. First we will start with a general reality according to this text.

Holiness is utmost displayed in love for the church

Just looking at the tone of verses 25-32, we can see the need to edify the church as heard from Paul’s voice. He see it in the phrases of the following verses:

v. 25 – “Of one another”
v. 26-27 – “Do not be angry”
v. 28 – “Labor to share”
v. 29 – “Speak to build up the body and give grace”
v. 31-32 – “Put away all … and be kind to one another”

When we are saved, we are not saved to live simply as individuals, but as a community of believers. And therefore, because we are this community, we are to love one another, laboring to build up the church and promote harmony and unity.

We should, therefore, hate anything that strikes against the purity and holiness and unity of the church. All of us need to realize that one cannot practice holiness and righteous living apart from loving the body of Christ, for the highest requirement of holiness is love for the church of God. You cannot live in a holy manner in a monastery.

Our passion as Christians, no matter our profession, should be to build up the church and there is not much aside from that that should bring us greater joy.

Now, still generally, but a bit more intense, we see how we are to love the church as Paul sums up his exhortations in 5:1-2.

We are to imitate God’s love in light of Christ dying for us (5:1-2)

Often we read Ephesians 5:25 that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, seeing it as some super-spiritual, above the ‘normal’ Christian kind of love. And it is great love However, according to this text, I think Christians are to love all in the body of Christ as Christ has loved the church. Or to be more exact with this text, we are to imitate God’s love (who sent his Son to die) for the church (these are not against one another).

And Christ laid down his life for the church (Ephesians 5:25-27). Therefore, as our covenant says, “we will seek the spiritual advancement of our brothers and sisters as dearly as our own,” this is necessary if we are to display true Christian love. Indeed, our mission statement is right in presenting men complete in Christ, for this was the purpose of Christ’s laying down his life on the cross.

So we must answer, “Do we love our brothers and sisters in Christ as Christ loved us, willing to lay down your life for them? Focused on their growing maturity in Christ? Giving them a picture of God’s love for them through our love for them?” We should, or we are not obeying this text.

And as a community of believers, we should pray and long and exhort and teach and warn so that men walk holy – giving up our lives in that sense.

So again, the Christian life cannot be lived in isolation and holiness cannot be achieved apart from loving the church as God loves his church.

But what does such love look like? This is answered in Paul’s specific instructions.

We put away falsehood/lying and speak truth to one another (25)

We should speak the truth at all times, and not lies. But we masquerade around the truth so much, don’t we? We fail to provide oversight (“I’m worried about the way you’re walking”) and discipline (“Turn from your sin”), masquerading half-truths as the truth and never being truly honest with our brothers and sisters.

Maybe the reason we do not speak the truth to one another is because we realize speaking the truth to others will require the investment of our time in their lives, indeed the investment of our lives into others. Yet not to do so does none of us any favors, for “We are members of one body.”

Last night, I had a migraine; this morning my whole body feels it. My whole body wishes my head didn’t hurt. This morning, my aching stomach is not rejoicing that my head hurt last night. My whole body wanted everything to be right, for if one thing is adversely affected the whole is adversely affect. That is why we must speak the turth to one another.

We must not be anything but truthful with one another.

We must not sin by indulging in anger (26-27)

There is such a thing as righteous anger, such as anger for adultery occurring in a marriage, breaking up a family. However, anger can also be sin, and even that which began as righteous anger can turn into sin. Peter O’Brien writes, “If ours is not free from injured pride, malice, or a spirit of revenge, it has degenerated into sin.”¹

One thing that causes anger to turn into sin is our nursing it over time. Therefore, Paul tells us to deal with it before sun down. This is something we must practice to ensure anger does not turn into sin in our hearts and affect the rest of the body of Christ.

If we don’t deal with anger quickly we give Satan an opportunity to exert his influence and cause strife within the community. Deal with struggle immediately. Christ tells us if we’re at the altar and our brother has something against us to go to him. In the new covenant, we are continually at the ‘altar,’ so if someone has something against you or you against them, deal with it immediately.

We must work hard – don’t steal – to share with others in need (28)

As believers we should be diligent workers for two reasons: 1) because we work as unto God and 2) because we have a desire to be able to provide for others.

Generosity was crucial in the believers’ lives in the early church (Luke 6:29-36), and it should characterize us. We should be a generous people. So work so you can share and build up the body of Christ. Such action is a great contrast to who we once were.

Do not utter harmful words but let everything you say build up the body (29)

Harmful speech is one of the most destructive things to community life (This means more than cursing). We often say things to tear down the body, gossip, etc. thinking that it is less harmful than committing other overt sins, but harmful language is destructive. Therefore, make sure that you say nothing harmful to the body and make sure that what you say is able to build up the body. This will go a long way in producing the kind of community of believers that we are supposed to be.

Let our speaking be a means of grace to one another as much as our service, for according to this text, it can (and must) be.

Don’t grieve the spirit (30)

So many times I think we read this text in light of charismatic thinking. We think if we do not prophesy, or have manifested wisdom from the Spirit, or great faith in prayer that we are grieving the Spirit. However, in context, I think we grieve the Spirit when we do or say anything that works against the unity and purity of the church. For this is the Spirit’s passion for the church of God. Therefore, we love the church as God loves the church for God’s Spirit is dwelling in our hearts.

Put away divisive, destructive acts and be kind and forgiving (31-32)

There is a progressive nature to sin. Therefore, Paul begins with bitterness but the chain ends with slander. Therefore, we must deal with bitterness instantly in order to love the body rightly.

“But,” you may say, “bitterness is so powerful, so how do we deal with it?” The main answer is given in verse 32. We forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us. Your offenses may be great, but you have been forgiven more than you could ever forgive another. So forgive, set aside bitterness, and be kind to one another, loving as Christ has loved us. Don’t damage the body, but look for opportunity to share, build up, speak the truth, etc.

May our lives characterize the spiritual community that we are. May we, by God’s grace, love one another as God in Christ has loved us. Amen.

¹Peter O’Brien, The Letter to the Ephesians: The Pillar New Testament Commentary(Eerdmans: Grand Rapids, 1999), 340.

SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE CHRISTIAN LIFE