On this very day fifty years ago Jim Elliott and four of his companions were killed as they were attempting to share the gospel with the Auca Indians, a group known as killers who had no contact with outsiders. And they weren’t just killed; they were speared and hacked to death. Their deaths were violent. Jim Elliott had only turned 29 a few months earlier and did not live to see his 30th birthday.

When I was in the fifth grade I started playing soccer. I enjoyed it, seemed to be okay at it, and decided I wanted to be the best soccer player in town. In fact, I remember two other guys in my school who were better soccer players than me. And when I saw them, I would think, “I’m going to be better than both of them.” The funny thing is though I earnestly told myself I wanted to be the best, I didn’t want to do all that it was going to take to get better. I hated running, spending hours practicing, reading, or whatever else it was going to take. I told myself I wanted to be the best, but my diligence toward the game said otherwise.

I think we tend to be like that when we hear stories of Jim Elliott. We hear the story of him taking the gospel to people who had never had contact with outsiders only to be killed, and we begin to fantasize about ourselves doing the same. We dream about crying out to a man with a spear, “Go ahead and kill me,” sacrificing our lives for the honor of Christ, and yet we often find ourselves unwilling to sacrifice even the smallest things so that we might live holy lives.

What I think we fail to understand in those moments of dreaming about laying down our lives as Jim Elliott did is that the call to him and the call to us is the same. It is the call to be holy, obeying all that Christ has commanded. For Jim Elliott, his call was manifested in his martyrdom, for John Calvin it was seen in his struggle in dealing with officials in Geneva, for yet another it will be manifested in living his life serving as a computer technician in Seattle, Washington. Yes, the computer technician’s life and Jim Elliott’s life may look drastically different to us, but the calling to each is the same, “Be holy, as I am holy.”

Therefore, this morning I want to talk about holiness and sin. And the reason I want to talk about holiness is because I think our text pushes us to think and talk about holiness. 2 Samuel 13-14 are two chapters filled with sin and lessons concerning sin that we need to meditate on as believers. This morning, then, I want us to look at these two chapters, see the lessons in the chapters, and apply them to ourselves.

Specifically, I want to go about this in the following manner: I am going to summarize the narrative in these two chapters as a whole (though I will give us breakdowns of the chapters – 13:1-22, 23-39, 14:1-24, and 25-33), then I want to point out the lessons I think we see in the text for those in the text, and then I want to apply these lessons to us. Therefore, let us begin by looking at the narrative itself.

A Summary of the Narrative of 2 Samuel 13-14

As 2 Samuel 11-12 focused with David as the main actor, chapter13 begins by focusing on David’s children. Specifically it begins with its focus on Amnon. The chapter begins telling us that Amnon, David’s son, loved Tamar, David’s daughter. In fact, he made himself ill because “she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to [him] to do anything to her” (13:2). I don’t think we have to use our imaginations too much to find out what he wanted “to do … to her.” Here is lust at its clearest.

Yet there was no way they could be married. In Leviticus 18:9 and 11 the Lord had commanded the people saying, “You shall not uncover the nakedness of your sister, your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether brought up in the family or in another home. … You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife’s daughter, brought up in your father’s family, since she is your sister.” Amnon longed for Tamar, but she could not be his.

However, Amnon had a cousin named Jonadab. The text introduces him to us as a “very crafty man” (13:3). Day after day he noticed that Amnon seemed down, so he asked him why. Amnon’s answer was simply but he knew he couldn’t have her. In an Eddie-Hascal-speaking-to-the-Beaver-Cleaver kind of way Jonadab gets Amnon’s attention by suggesting a way in which his desire can be fulfilled after all. However, much more seriously than anything seen on “Leave it to Beaver,” Jonadab’s suggestion is rape.

He tells Amnon to act like he is sick and to have David send for Tamar to come to him and care for him. David obliges, and Tamar comes. Tamar prepares Amnon food, laboring to knead the dough and bake it in his sight before presenting it to him. However, he refused to eat and sent everyone out of the room. Then he calls Tamar over to him to feed it to him from her hand.

As Tamar gets to him he grabs her, not letting her go, as he pleads with her to lie with him. She refuses, pointing out that this is a despicable act, would bring shame to her, and would reveal his godlessness. Then, out of desperation, no doubt, she tells him to speak to the king. But Amnon knows he cannot have Tamar unless he takes her, so he does, and he rapes her.

The thing we might not expect is Amnon’s reaction after his sin. We read in verse 15, “Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her.” It’s surprising, but not altogether impossible to understand. No doubt we all know the feeling of wanting so badly to sin, sinning, and then hating the very thing we were craving. That is Amnon in our text.

And from verse 15 onward it’s as if the text is unfolding in reverse. Right before the violation of Tamar he intensely wanted her. Now he wants to get rid of her. Before the rape Tamar pleads with him not to violate her as it was forbidden. Now she points out that sending her away would be forbidden. After all, just as the law had forbidden uncovering the nakedness of one’s sister, it also commanded a man to marry the virgin after sleeping with her (Exodus 22:16-17; Deut. 22:28-29). And just as Amnon had refused her pleading and took her by force, now he again refuses her pleading and forces her out, bolting the door behind her.

Tamar leaves, violating, ashamed, and mourning, tearing her robe and having ashes on her head. Her only care is Absalom, her brother’s, insensitive remark, “He is your brother; do not take this to heart” (13:20). She would spend the rest of her life as a desolate woman in Absalom’s house.

Then the chapter ends with two reactions. First, David heard these things and was angry. But he did nothing. And, second, although Absalom seemed indifferent and said nothing to Amnon, he hated him, and waited for a day to exact revenge.

According to 2 Samuel 13:23-39, that day came two years later. Absalom had not acted that day or immediately afterward. His crime against Amnon could never be considered an act of heated uncontrolled rage. This was premeditated murder. And he would be as crafty with Amnon as Amnon had been with Tamar.

Absalom had a time for sheepshearing in which he invited the king and all his sons to come and join him. David refused, citing the burden that would put on Absalom. Absalom then asked, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us” (13:26). David was curious, but he agreed to let him go. We read the unfolding of events in verses 28-29, “Then Absalom commanded his servants, ‘Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.’ So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.”

The first news David received was that all his sons had been killed, and he wept bitterly. However, soon Jonadab (always in the “right” place at the “right” time to provide insight) told David that it was only Amnon and that his murder had been planned by Absalom ever since Amnon had raped Tamar.

Therefore, knowing he was in trouble with the king, Absalom fled to Geshur, and David wept bitterly. And the chapter ends, “And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead” (13:39). Absalom was not welcome back, but David did long for him.

Chapter 14 then is about remedying Absalom’s problem about not being welcome back into Jerusalem. But the drive to bring Absalom back is not initiated by Absalom, but by the commander of David’s army, Joab.

What is not clear is why Joab wanted Absalom back. Maybe he feared there being difficulty in maintaining a Davidic king on the throne with Amnon dead and Absalom in hiding. Maybe it was to make sure he was in good graces with whomever might become king. But for some reason, Joab sets up a plot to bring Absalom back to Jerusalem.

Joab found a “wise woman” (14:2) whom he could bring before the king and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. Go to the king and speak thus to him” (14:2-3). The story he told her to tell is that she had two sons who were out in a field fighting. In the course of fighting, one of them had killed the other. And now, the whole clan has risen up demanding the death of her remaining son. She points out to David that their desire was greed, as they would kill the heir, take her source of provision, and wipe out her husband’s name from the earth, as he was already dead. Therefore, David said to her, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again. … As the LORD lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground” (14:10-11).

However, the lady then seizes the moment to show that the reason for her coming was not to speak about a threat on her son’s life at all but to point out to David the inconsistency in his ruling. She was luring him into making a decision so that she could bring Absalom back. She points out that Absalom stands in the same place as her son, and yet though his exile hurts the kingdom, David is refusing him back into Jerusalem.

David smells Joab in this, and the woman admits she has been put up to this by him. Nonetheless, David calls Joab into his presence and says, “Behold now, I grant this; go, bring back the young man Absalom” (14:21). Yet, after Joab bowed and thanked David, the king added one thing, saying, “Let him dwell apart in his own house; he is not to come into my presence” (14:24). Absalom could come back into Jerusalem, but David would never see him again. Thus, 14:24 ends, “So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king’s presence.”

But Absalom was not content with simply being back in Jerusalem. He wanted the throne. Our first clue at this is verses 25-27. The description of Absalom sends all of us who have read 1-2 Samuel up to this point to note that Absalom was like Saul in that his appearance fit that of a king. Therefore, Absalom, after two years sent for Joab to get him to talk to David. When Joab would not come, Absalom burned his field. And sure enough, it got his attention. Absalom lays out to Joab a word for David, saying, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still. Now therefore let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death” (14:32-33).

Thus, Joab complies agrees to let Absalom back into his presence, restoring to him kingly favor. And the chapter ends, “So [Absalom] came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom” (14:33).

So, what then does this text teach us? Let me list a few things that I think the author would have us see.

First, we cannot underestimate the seriousness of sin and the need for modeling holiness

It doesn’t take some literary genius to see that the sins of David’s sons parallel David’s own sin. David has committed sexual sin with Bathsheba and murdered her husband. Now David’s sons commit sexual sin (rape) and murder as well. In fact, I think the author wants this connection to be seen very clearly. In the opening verse, both of the sons are named and both are referred to as “David’s son.” Then, in each of their schemes, David participates (though unknowingly) in aiding them in their evil. David commands Tamar to go to Amnon, and David allows his sons to go to Absalom’s. There is no way the author will allow us to miss David’s connection with his sons’ sins.

I think this reminds us of the seriousness of sin. Was David forgiven of his sin? Yes. He confessed it and was forgiven. Would he be condemned under God’s wrath for his sin? No. He was forgiven. But does forgiveness keep the effects of David’s sin from being disastrous? No. Even though we can be and are forgiven of sin does not mean that sin is not serious and does not carry weighty consequences. It indeed does. If nothing else, David’s sons were imitating the same sin that they had seen in their father.

This should be a lesson to us of the serious nature of sin and the need to model holiness. Now, in the new covenant, it is no longer true that one can say, “My father ate sour grapes and now my teeth are set on edge” as was seen in the old covenant, with sin being credited to those to the third and fourth generation. But it doesn’t reduce the need for holiness and modeling it to our children and others. In fact, when Paul tells Timothy not to let anyone despise his youth, he writes, “But set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

We cannot think our sin has no effects on those around us. Let me give a word for you fathers. I do not doubt that any father out here longs for his son to be pure. I know I desire that for Michael. As someone once asked me to pray for his son, I hope that none of the boys who grow up in this church would never deliberately put before them an unclothed woman besides their wife. However, do not think you can pray that for your sons and yet do nothing to jeopardize that hope by your own lust and sin. Sons know their fathers’ sin. May we realize the seriousness of our sin and model holiness for those around us.

Second, we are reminded that the pleasure of sin is deceptive and passing

I want to note this quickly. Amnon and Absalom get what they want so desperately. Amnon gets to do what he wants to do with Tamar. Absalom gets to exact revenge on Amnon. Both men get what they want. However, Amnon soon sees the passing nature of sin, hating the one he once loved immediately after he rapes Tamar. And in the end he dies. Absalom himself kills Amnon only to have to live years in exile and soon let his lust push him to his death as well.

Both of these men are examples to us and reminders to us that the pleasure of sin is deceptive and passing. And the ironic thing about both of them is that they had practically everything they could have wanted. Like David before Bathsheba, they were amazingly blessed. They were sons of the king and could have delighted in their blessings. But they both longed for sin. One lust and the other revenge (or you could suggest that Absalom’s greatest desire was lust for the throne, using the opportunity of Tamar’s rape to murder Amnon who stood as a threat to his kingship). They both got what they wanted and threw away everything.

We need to be reminded often of this reality of the deceptive and passing nature of the pleasure of sin. It is easy to spend your entire life struggling to seek after the pleasure sin seems to offer only to miss the blessing of obedience that was always right at your fingertips.

Recently I was at the hospital, visiting a man who was married to his wife for years. And he was just coming out of surgery with a heart issue. He went into the hospital, not knowing whether or not he would be coming out. And as they brought his bed into the ICU and his eyes filled with tears and fear, I watched his wife walk up to him, take his hand, kiss him on the head, and hold him. And I thought, “There it is. There is the blessing of faithfulness.” The man who pursues his lust and in unfaithful does not know the lasting pleasure that man has in his wife. May we therefore not waste our time pursuing deceptive and passing pleasures but pour ourselves into pursuing the lasting and deep pleasure of a life lived faithfully before God.

Third, this story reminds us that we cannot ignore sin and simply expect it to go away

One of the threads that runs throughout these two chapters is sin remaining unaddressed, specifically by David. After Amnon rapes Tamar, David does nothing. Ralph Davis writes, “David ‘heard about all these things, and he was angry.’ That’s good. But that was all. And that’s bad. David was irate; he was furious; he could scarcely contain his rage. But, unfortunately, he did” (139). And in doing so, he leaves Tamar defenseless, Amnon free to carry on without addressing his sin, and opens the door for Absalom’s murder of his brother. Then, when Absalom does murder Amnon, we find no record of David addressing Absalom at all. He is sad. He does not allow Absalom back to Jerusalem. But he does nothing. Then, when Absalom is finally allowed to come back into the king’s presence, we simply read that David kisses him. In fact, maybe the only reason Absalom had been forced from David’s presence was so that David would not be forced to have to decide what to do with Absalom’s sin. In the end he decide to ignore it altogether.

David had addressed his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah, but he refused to address any further sin in his home, and it was inexcusable. In the end, David appears no different from Eli. Amnon’s sin is not addressed and it breeds more sin as Absalom kills Amnon. Absalom’s sin is not addressed, and (as the next chapters will show us) it breeds more sin as Absalom tries to force himself to the throne and is killed. There is a clear principle in this text that when sin is unaddressed, it does not simply go away breeds more sin.

This is exactly what Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 5 as he wrote, “Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened” (5:6-7). If we as a church decide not to address unrepentant sin, we cannot think it will simply go away. It won’t. It will spread. Others will be encouraged in ungodliness. If we as parents do not discipline our children, we cannot think we are simply not being spectacular parents; we are breeding ungodly character in our children’s lives that will destroy them. We cannot claim to hate sin and do nothing about it. We must address it in our own lives, in our homes, and in the church. And if we do not, it will not simply go away. Rather, it will show itself in greater and greater sin. As we saw last week, not every man who lusts goes on to commit adultery, but everyone who commits adultery has lusted and refused to address his sin. May we not deceive ourselves into thinking we can leave our sin unaddressed.

Fourth, our text reminds us that we must love God and the establishment of his kingdom greater than all else, or we will truly love nothing

It appears that one reason David does nothing in dealing with sin in his household is because he loves his children. He is angry with Amnon but does nothing. Absalom is not allowed into his presence, but he longs for him. And as soon as Absalom returns, instead of his sin being addressed, he is kissed.

Though we must speculate a bit, it seems that David’s motivation in not addressing sin is much like Eli with his sins. He loves his children more than he loves God and his kingdom. Yet even love must be defined there. For does he really love Tamar, who is left defenseless. Does he really love Amnon, for without addressing his sin he leaves him to be killed. And does he really love Absalom, for in allowing his greed and lust not to be addressed, he sets him up to be murdered as well. Simply, if you try to love anything above God and his kingdom, in the end, you will love nothing.

The way we love others is by cultivating a love for God. Some of us are not loving those around us and even our families because we are not laboring to cultivate a love for God. So, I will ask us, “Do we love God? Do we really love God?” The answer to that question will show whether you really love others. May we therefore be a people who love God first, and by our love for him, enable ourselves to love others as well.

These chapters really push us to deal with sin in our lives. They remind us that we must take sin and holiness seriously, that the pleasure of sin is deceptive and passing, that we cannot expect unaddressed sin simply to go away but to know that it will breed more and more sin, and that we cannot love anything above God, or we will love nothing.

However, after thinking through these things, you may feel hopeless. Maybe you are quite aware of your sin and feel there is no way that God could approve of you or love you. And maybe you feel like you’ve ruined any chance of God using you. Well, if that’s the case, let me leave you with two other things the text teaches us.

First, the text reminds us that there is a link between the righteousness of the king and the righteousness of his people. They are linked. That’s why Samuel had told the Israelites that if they refused to obey, both they and their king would be swept away. And now we see that the king’s unrighteous acts are repeated by the people.

But why is this good news to you if you feel hopeless or that you are someone whom God could not love, approve of, or forgive? The reason it is good news is because the true King, Jesus of Nazareth came and identified with us. He became like us who were under God’s wrath for our sin, yet he was without sin. And he went under God’s wrath for us so that his perfect righteousness might be credited to us. Thus, just as he was justified before all men in his resurrection, Paul tells us that he was raised for our justification. He was raised so that we might be justified. In the end, our righteousness does not come from ourselves at all but from Christ who paid for our sins and whose righteousness has been credited to us before God. So if you’re struggling in the face of your own sin, confess your sin and realize the work your King has done on your before. Preach to yourself the gospel. Remind yourself that Christ has paid for our sins and if we believe, his righteousness has been credited to us so that God approves of us in his Son.

And if you feel as if you’ve simply ruined your life in your sin and any chance of God bringing about great things in your life, then realize that though 2 Samuel 13-14 are chapters filled with evil and the consequences of sin, they are also chapters which show us God fulfilling his Word. In 2 Samuel 12:10 God had told David as judgment, “Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.”

God is fulfilling his Word in 2 Samuel 13-14. But why is this comforting? It is comforting because if you are God’s child, according to Ephesians 2:10, God has ordained good works for you to walk in so that your life might be a glorious picture. And God’s Word always is accomplished. Therefore, trust in him, do not be disheartened, but confess your sins, walk in holiness, and watch him fulfill his Word in your life. We can trust him to do that. Let us remind ourselves now of his faithfulness as we come to the table. Amen.

THE SERIOUSNESS OF SIN AND NEED FOR A SAVIOR