What does Christian fellowship look like? It’s tempting to think of fellowship is only something Christians do when they’re eating or drinking together. So, you get together with a couple of believers and talk, it’s not fellowship. However, if you add drinking sweet tea to that exact same situation, then you’re fellowshipping. I believe we all know, though, that fellowship is more than eating or drinking together, it is a commitment to a shared idea or vision that we (as believers) can have because we should all be focused on seeing God glorified through the exaltation of Jesus Christ.

But what does it look like day to day? What are its ingredients? What should Christian fellowship look like among those of us who make up Cornerstone Community Church? Does living as a covenant community of believers mean simply that we all come to the same building on Sunday morning or all hear the same sermons or sing the same songs? Or does it mean more. And if it does mean more, then what does it look like? How would we go about describing what Christian fellowship is in the church to someone who wants to know what Christian fellowship is?

Thankfully, 3 John helps us understand what Christian fellowship looks like. The letter itself appears to have been written from John the apostle to a man named Gaius to encourage him to support some brothers in Christ who are strangers to him, so that they might continue on their journey of spreading the good news and to thank Gaius for what he has done already for the sake of the gospel. And as this is communicated, we learn what fellowship looks like.

However, as we read this letter you will not once see the word “fellowship” in the text. And unlike 1 John, John does not tell us why he’s written this letter. Therefore, we read nowhere that his overarching purpose is to display for us what Christian fellowship should look like. Yet I think as we look through the letter that you will see a beautiful picture of fellowship from both the one writing the letter (John) and the one receiving the letter (Gaius). Thus, this morning I want us to look at these ingredients of Christian fellowship in this letter and then allow our lives to stand up next to this model to see in what areas we need to repent and excel even more.

In the first four verses of the text we find that …

Fellowship involves loving one another from our hearts (1-4)

In these first four verses John tells Gaius about himself, what he’s been doing, what he has done, and what brings him joy. He writes, “The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you are walking in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

What is clear here is that John truly loves his brother, and indeed all those in Christ. He first addresses Gaius as “the beloved Gaius” and then tells him again that he loves him in truth. No doubt Gaius would not have wondered if John really loved him. But why does John love him? Could it be that Gaius was just a really enjoyable guy? That indeed might have been the case. However, John notes that he loves him “in truth.” This is most likely John’s way of referring to the Word of God, his revelation to us, and the gospel specifically. John loves Gaius in the gospel. He loves Gaius primarily because they have both had their eyes opened to delight in the gospel, to love God, and to seek the honor of Jesus Christ in all things. As John contemplates Gaius sharing with him in these delights and commitments, his love for him overflows, and so he tells him so. Indeed, Christian fellowship first involves us loving one another from our hearts.

Yet John wants Gaius to know the specifics of his love for him. First, John lets him know that he prays for his well-being. John knows that Gaius has been made alive in Christ and he is seeking to follow him, and so he tells him that he prays that “all may go well with [him] and that [he] may be in good health, as it goes well with [his] soul” (v. 2). Just as he’s doing well spiritually, John prays that he will do well physically as well. John has no delight in seeing Gaius suffer, though he knows God uses suffering for good means. Again, he loves him.

And finally, John tells Gaius that the news that he has received of him walking in truth – according to the commands of Christ – moved him to rejoice. It brought John genuine joy to know that Gaius was living a holy life. Then John proclaims in verse 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” You see, John knows that the greatest thing for Gaius (and all believers) is that they walk according to the gospel of Jesus Christ, obeying his commands. And John loves Gaius so much that he genuinely wants what is best for him and most glorifying to God. Therefore, when he hears that those in the church are walking in obedience to the Lord, that brings John the greatest joy he’s known.

Now, having looked at John in these first four verses let’s just ask ourselves, what kind of man is this? I mean, what is he – some super Christian? He loves Gaius, prays for him in all ways, rejoices to hear he’s walking in holiness, and has no greater joy than knowing that believers are walking in holiness. Just comparing yourself to one aspect of this, complete this sentence for yourself: “I have no greater joy than …” Would your answer be “… than in knowing my brothers and sisters in Christ are continuing to walk in holiness”? My guess is that for many if not all of us that answer would not be ours and may not have entered our minds prior to reading this text. So again, what kind of man is John?

Here’s what kind of man he is. He’s a man who once was an enemy of God and was filled with all kinds of dislike and envy with others in this world. He loved evil. Sin had such a grip on him that he could not seek after God because he loved evil too much to tear himself away from it. And then one day he had heard (and saw) the good news that Jesus had died on the cross to pay the penalty for his sins and had risen from the dead. And he believed, and he was given a new heart that was able to love God and others as well. He had been headed toward his right judgment of hell as an enemy of God and was now looking to the day when he would dwell forever in eternity with his Lord. In other words, John was just like us. And what we see in these first four verses is not some super-Christianity. It is normal Christianity. Our problem is that we’ve grown accustomed to that which below normal that when we see someone obeying the text it looks like something far above normal.

I remember having a Hebrew exam in college that was quite difficult. It covered some material we had not learned and was simply beyond what we had learned to that point. And when I got the test back I saw that I had scored an 87 or something like that. I was really disappointed. Languages were a real love for me, and I had really hurt my chances of getting an “A” in the class. Soon, however, I began to talk with those around me (who were bright students) and found out that I had actually scored higher than those around me. Then all of the sudden my disappointment disappeared and I thought, “Man, I really am some kind of Hebrew genius!” You know, 87% is a lot of pie if you try to eat it all at once. What had happened was that as a class we fell so far below what was expected of us that I began to think that a low B symbolized excellence. I think we have done the same thing in regard to how we are to love one another in Christ.

So let’s just examine ourselves in light of John. Do we love one another? I mean, do we genuinely love one another from our hearts? Do we find ourselves moved to pray for one another because others burdens weigh on us and their suffering bring aching to us in our souls? Do we find ourselves praising God because of the good that’s happening in another’s life? Do we find great joy to know that one another is growing in holiness because it is the best thing for that person and honoring to God? Do we find our greatest joy in knowing that others are walking in the truth, according to Christ’s commandments? If not, then we’re not loving one another like John loved the church. And this is the foundational ingredient of Christian fellowship.

So what do we do if indeed we’ve answered no to some or all of these questions? What do we do if we realize that we don’t love one another as we’re supposed to love? First, we need to repent of our sin before God, of not obeying the second greatest commandment: to love our neighbor as ourselves. Second, we need to pray that God will give us great love for one another, asking him to move our hearts? And, finally, we need to need to do that which we see in these verses, praying for one another, meditating on their burdens and joys, and thinking of what their holiness means for them and to God until we find ourselves rejoicing at it. And as we do these things more and more I think our delight in them and love for one another will grow. For, bathing in holiness and obedience will not lead us to desire it less but more.

Therefore, first, fellowship involves loving one another from our hearts. Yet, John gives us a further picture of it in his exhortation to Gaius. In verses 5-8 we see that …

Fellowship involves practically supporting one another (5-8)

John writes in these verses, “Beloved, it is a faithful thing you do in all your efforts for these brothers, strangers as they are, who testified to your love before the church. You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God. For they have gone out for the sake of the name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles. Therefore we ought to support people like these, that we may be fellow workers for the truth.”

John wants Gaius to know that he does well in all that he does to support these brothers who are coming to him. Though they are strangers, Gaius’s love for the church is known to them. John, therefore, exhorts Gaius to send them out from him on their journey (probably in sharing the gospel) “in a manner worthy of God.” For, John points out to him that they have gone out to honor the name of Christ and have taken nothing from unbelievers. And finally, John reminds him that we ought to support people like this, for as we do so we become fellow workers in their labors in the gospel.

Fellowship involves practically supporting one another as we share the commitment to honor our God by exalting his Son, Jesus Christ. These laborers in sharing the gospel and building up the church weren’t turning to the world for support. They knew that the world didn’t share the same commitment to honor Christ. So John reminds us that we ought to support one another in carrying out our shared vision. And as we do so we’re actually showing that we are their fellow workers in carrying out the commands of our Lord.

You can imagine a race where you have four other teammates, and the only way you can win the race is if all five of you pass the finish line. Then, about halfway through the face one of your teammates in front of you trips and falls off the track so that he needs help getting back on. And as you pass you think to yourself, “Sorry about your luck buddy. When I cross the finish line ahead of you everyone’s going to say, ‘Man, you were a much better runner than the guy who fell off the track.’” Well, that’s ridiculous. Of course you wouldn’t think that. For those people wouldn’t sing your praises at the finish line. Rather, they would say, well in trying to do good only for himself he actually ensured that he lost the race, for either all of them win together or none of them wins.

Such is the picture in the church. God will not declare us obedient on that final day if we simply focus on our personal holiness and ‘success’ and ignore the needs of those around us. For Christ did not simply die for you or me but for all of his people. And we are one. We are so united that to try to divide us would be equivalent to trying to divide Christ. And we are so one with Christ that to do good to another is as to do good to Christ. Therefore, fellowship involves us making our focus on the whole of the church and not simply ourselves. As believers who are Cornerstone Community Church, we need to long and pray and labor to become focused on our fellow brothers and sisters and support them in their labors to honor Christ. We need to ensure we’re about the same vision and then aid one another in carrying out that vision.

Then, surprisingly, John’s letter takes a bit of a turn in verses 9-10. However, he shows us another aspect of fellowship.

Fellowship involves confronting those not living in accordance with Scripture (9-10)

John writes in verses 9-10, “I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.”

John points out one who is not following Christ and who is being divisional in the church. His name is Diotrephes. He doesn’t attempt to hold up the others but puts himself first. He doesn’t acknowledge the authority of John (or for us, what would be equivalent to recognizing the authority of the Scriptures). He speaks incorrect things of John and the others. He refuses to welcome other brothers laboring for the gospel and stops any others who do want to welcome them, putting those out of the church. Diotrephes is attempting to run the show in the church, and John confronts him. He declares what he is doing in this letter and tells Gaius that if he comes he will bring up what’s going on.

“Where” we might ask, “then is John’s love for the church we saw in verses 1-4?” The answer is that it’s still here. For fellowship involves confronting those who are not living in accordance with the Scripture. Christian fellowship means that we’re willing to go to a brother or sister not living in accordance with the Scripture and confronting him or her about it, even as John said he would do with Diotrephes.

But why should we be willing to do this? A number of reasons: 1) we love God, and when someone is living in sin it is dishonoring to God, 2) because we love that individual and for them to walk in sin is a harm to them, and 3) because we love the church and understand that we are a united body. If we’re simply individuals gathering together on Sundays, then your sin doesn’t really matter to me. But if we’re united in our mission, then your sin affects all of us.

When I played basketball in eighth grade, my basketball coach wanted us to learn we are a team. So, we ran these drills that were exhausting, and if the whole team didn’t complete it in a certain amount of time we had to repeat the drills until we did. Therefore, when we saw that someone was slacking off, we would go confront him. When we saw that someone was struggling, we worked to help him to do it better. When one of us finished the drill we didn’t run off but turned to look as to how we might encourage others. Now, yes, it was driven by the threat of running more and repeating the drills, but our coach wanted us to learn to do that in all situations and to have that kind of attitude in the games, knowing we need all to do well.

That same attitude needs to exist in Christian fellowship, and if someone is hurting the body then we must love God, the church, and the individual enough to confront him. One of the reasons that church discipline became almost non-existent in our churches for a while is because we’re selfish and self-centered. It’s easy not to confront a man leaving his wife and kids when you don’t think it affects you, isn’t it? After all, you’re not that man or woman or the kids. You won’t suffer the effects of sin, so you think. But what we don’t see is that we’re turning a blind eye to the hurts of that family, we’re ignoring the fact that this sin will spread to others in the church as it is not confronted, and we’re forgetting that this sin dishonors God.

Therefore, you cannot have genuine Christian fellowship unless we’re willing to lovingly confront one another in sin. If we’re not willing to do that, we can’t even call ourselves a church, no matter what the sign in front of our building may say. Fellowship involves loving one another from our hearts, supporting one another in our labors to honor Christ, and confronting others in sin. And yet John’s letter points us to one more ingredient of Christian fellowship in verses 11-15.

Fellowship involves imitating one another in as much as we walk in holiness (11-15)

In these last verses John writes, “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. We also add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true. I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends, every one of them” (vv. 11-15).

John ends the letter exhorting Gaius (and the others reading this letter) to imitate good, for whoever does good is from God. Then, he points out Demetrius as one who walks in holiness and should be imitated. Another aspect of fellowship in the church involves us imitating one another in as much as our brothers and sisters imitate Christ.

I love this aspect of fellowship because holiness is difficult. What does it look like to raise your children in a God-honoring way? What does it look like to be whole-heartedly devoted to the Lord in your singleness? What does it look like to share the gospel with your family and co-workers? What does it look like to meditate on the Scripture? What does it look like to encourage others? Thankfully the Lord has not said, “Go get alone by yourself and figure this out. Then, when you’re ready, come back and do them.” If he did, I might never come back from wherever I went.

Holiness is hard. And it’s hard in the day-to-day situations of life. However, we’re not alone. And it’s not cheating to look and see what others are doing. God is not going to rebuke you on that final day by saying, “Well, you handled that situation well with your kids, but you didn’t even think of it until you saw Van Neste do it” or “Sure, you served the body well, but it was only after seeing who Ellsworth did it” (because obviously God will address everyone by his or her last name on that day :-). No, because there’s not greater value in figuring out things on your own. What matters is that you obey Christ. And in as much as you see another in the body imitating Christ, then imitate them. Holiness is a community task, not something left merely to you as an individual.

So one of the blessed realities we see from 3 John is that fellowship involves us imitating one another in as much as others are obeying the commands of Christ. And in this way our holiness will actually aid others in theirs, which should bring us great delight.

So, what is Christian fellowship? What does it look like? And what will it mean for us who make up Cornerstone Community Church? It means that we will love each other from a pure heart, that we will support one another as we labor together for the same goal, that we will lovingly confront one another as they are in sin, and that we will imitate one another in as much as others are obeying Christ. Therefore, let us celebrate our fellowship in the gospel as we come to the table – together. May God’s grace be with us. Amen.

WHAT DOES CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP LOOK LIKE?